In trying to get this blog and website going, I realized I needed pictures. And lots of them. I spent an exciting evening wandering around At Home, a great home decor store looking for all manners of trinkets to use to create some beautiful pictures. I spent even more time trying to find just the right thing to wear myself. And then, I asked [read: bribed with the promise of ice cream] my 8 year old to assist me in taking pictures. Now it’s worth noting that he does generally have a pretty good eye when it comes to taking pictures. I saved more than a few of his photos. But this day – oy!
If you’ve ever wondered “Gee, I really could be a bit more humble about myself” let me tell you first hand – nothing is quite as humbling as sorting through hundreds of photos of yourself trying to find one that “works”, when those photos were captured by the unsteady hand of an impatient 8 year old. Don’t believe me…just have a look!
Every bad angle, every unflattering pose, every awkward look was captured. And if they weren’t awful, they were out of focus. 😭 Bless him. We spent over an hour trying to capture just one picture that might work. As the sun began to rise, so did my frustration. I was struggling to coach my little guy with grace, and eventually just said forget it. I knew it was time to just move on.
But Satan, oh he’s a tricky one. He knew my confidence was was broken, and ever so slyly began whispering in my ear “you’re not enough.” So much so, I started to believe that it really didn’t matter that we failed to get some good pictures, because what I had to say didn’t matter to begin with. I was falling for the lie that my worth amounted to only as much as a flash drive full of terrible pictures. And I bought it, hook, line, and sinker.
One of my missions in this place is that it’s a place where we can be a mess together, so I won’t front, my morning and my mood took a hit. The negative self talk about my looks overtook me. I was in full on pissed-off, pity-party mode.
Thankfully God grabbed ahold of me and reminded me of this verse,
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Songs 4:7
I had to keep repeating that over and over to myself. It took a while to let go of the lies. Even longer before I was willing to have a look at the pictures again. Those confirming words though, they slowly but surely began to sink deeper into my hear. God sees me as a precious, beautiful daughter and He sees you the same way. The things we see as flawed, He sees as unique and wonderful. We are made in His glorious image, how can we not believe in our own beauty.
I know it’s time I start resting in that truth – what about you?